Why Set a Goal?

 Why set a goal?

Setting goals is something my husband and I disagree on. He would rather not set a goal. He has his interests and feels that if he pursues those interests, taking things in stride, he will accomplish great things. He is an easy going guy and very good at what he does. I am the complete opposite, wanting to create direction in my own life and not just take what’s given to me. I can be a little intense, but I typically get what I want. Surprisingly, we are both fairly successful in life, so I’m not going to say that setting goals is the only way to go. I know it’s an odd argument to have, but we also disagree about keeping a positive mindset (a different topic for another day)--which I think is an even stranger thing to disagree about.

I will say this though, many research studies support the theory that goal setting is one of the most important things to help you reach your full potential as a writer and as a human being in general (especially if you find that things don’t come to you especially easily). 

In Mary Kay I learned that goal setting is a lot like archery. 

If you were with a group of people and someone gives you each a bow and an arrow, telling you to shoot it, arrows would end up everywhere. However, take that same group of people and place a target at the front of them and tell them to shoot--some people would miss it completely, some people would hit part of it, and some may hit right on the bull’s eye. The difference?

In the first scenario, there is no target and therefore no focus. We can be doing activity after activity (shooting arrow after arrow), but have no real direction, which takes us wherever our arrow flies. Which may or may not be great. If you have seen the movie Parasite, you know that this way of life can sometimes end in tragedy. Well, maybe that’s taking this analogy too far. 

In the other scenario, we know exactly where we are aiming and even if we miss the target, we are heading in the right general direction of our goal. If we continue shooting those arrows, maybe learning and developing as we go, making adjustments as needed, we know that we will eventually come close, if not hit the bull’s eye at some point.

So how do you know what goal to shoot for?

If the room is full of targets where do you aim first?

My advice, pick the closest target.

Let’s say that you want to be a bestselling novelist, but you are just getting started with your writing career. That target for the bestsellers list is about fifty yards away. Though you may hit the target from this far, it’s a good idea to aim for something a lot closer first. Here are some ideas:

• Attend a class at a college or writing conference like Storymakers to get some basic writing tips and learn how story works. 

• Read a certain number of novels in the genre you are interested in writing so you understand what sells in that particular market. 

• Sign up for writing websites like Storygrid.com or newsletters like David Farland’s Kick in the Pants.

• Read writing blogs like Tara Lazar’s Writing for Kids While Raising Them

• Join a critique group.

• Begin writing! This, obviously, is the most important part. Remember consistency is the key. To become more consistent check out my other articles on Calendaring and Baby Steps.

I hope that your bow and arrow take you to great places. You have wonderful things to accomplish. Your writing is important and with a goal, you are so much more likely to reach your target (no matter what my husband might say). 

What are your writing goals? Do you have a big destination in mind? Let me know in the comments. Beginning on the right path starts by making a decision and stating it. Let’s do this thing!

Calendaring

  In my last article I talked about calendaring. When I was eleven years old my brother gave me my first Franklin Covey planner. At the time I thought it was the oddest gift to give to an eleven year old, especially to me—since I didn’t deem myself a very organized person. But I decided that since I had it, I would use it. That planner has proven to be the most impactful gift I had ever been given. It became such a tool to me that I soon began referring to it as my “life.”

I organized everything from homework to activities. It taught me to use a calendar, which to this day seems to be the most effective way for me to manage my time. I have moved from paper to digital and I love it! Since my schedule is right on my phone, it makes taking it with me a lot easier—not to mention entering recurring tasks and events is a dream comparatively. 

There are so many options for calendaring, from your typical day planners to online calendars. In another article I’ll review some of the calendaring apps and tools out there and rate them, but really, it doesn’t completely matter. I believe that the most important part is that you write things down. “The faintest ink is more powerful than the strongest memory,” as the Chinese proverb goes. 

So, how do you use a calendar effectively? How do you get your work stuff done and have time with your family and friends? Most importantly: how do you balance writing with everything else in between? Here’s a basic breakdown of how I do it. I’m sure there are other ways to make calendaring a beneficial experience, but this may be a good starting place.

Set a designated day and time to fill out and review your calendar 

(add it to your calendar as an appointment if you need).

• On Sunday evenings I go through emails and fill in my kids' school events, deadlines, and other appointments, typically focusing on the entire week at once. Throughout the week I add things immediately after I set them up—otherwise I tend to forget. 

• Each night I review my schedule for the next day and line things up if needed so I'm ready for the morning.

Schedule in all of the “must do’s”

• Start with work, school, meetings, and appointments. Take into account travel and prep time.

• Add in meals and important chores.

• Using the gaps, fill in your writing time.

Schedule in the “want to’s”

• Plan time for the people you care about.

1. I’m going to spend time on this one, because I think it’s important and it’s where I’ve had to do the most work personally. 

I’m constantly diving into one project or another and my husband loves nothing more than sitting down, watching TV with a big bowl of popcorn, and just enjoying time with me. Luckily he’s a good communicator and I’m a fairly decent listener. He told me that he was missing that time with me, so I made him a deal that I would watch TV with him one night a week, no distractions, if we danced to a song after every show we watch (since we met Swing dancing and I never want that to stop.). So every Monday night we have a special little night where we watch a TV show and dance to one song. We call it, “Do Nothing Night” and it’s something we both look forward to every week. 

We also have a slated Date Night for either Friday or Saturday night at about 6:00pm, depending mostly on our older kids’ schedules for babysitting. 

It may not be spontaneous, but it will happen more often than not if you have the time allotted—and that is what’s most important.

• If you have other hobbies that you want to explore, schedule time for those.

• Leave open spaces in your schedule. This way you’re prepared with time for “other” things and emergencies. Also it gives you flexibility and you’re less likely to experience burnout. It’s good for your brain to see and experience down time.

The biggest benefit of calendaring is the ability to see, at a glance, how busy you are and where you have writing time. 

Even if you only have a fifteen minute time slot (typically me), that is time that can be well spent. A calendar can help you make and keep your appointments, especially the writing appointments you make with yourself. Try it out! Who knows, it could be the most important skill you’ll ever acquire. You’ve got this! 

What type of calendar do you use to manage your time? Do you have any tips on calendaring that I didn’t cover? I’d love to hear from you! Leave me a comment.

Baby Steps

      Now that we’ve committed to doing better with time management, the key is getting consistent. I’ve written an article about this before, but it really is tricky, especially with outside forces working their way in. Although, in some people’s cases it could be that there aren’t enough outside forces and we think all day, “I have plenty of time to get to my writing. I will do it later.” Both of these scenarios make for a difficult time with getting consistent and in both cases boundaries are important. Boundaries with others and boundaries with ourselves. As well as taking advantage of our pockets of time.

     When I talk about boundaries I am referring to drawing the line between needs and wants and how to make this work for you in your writing. This book, Boundaries: When to Say Yes When to say No To Take Control of Your Life by John Townsend and Henry Cloud, is really good. Be aware that if you read it, you'll see who is taking your time, who doesn’t respect your boundaries, and who does. It changes the way you see people, but it also does a great job of teaching you how to work with those people. Mainly, I find, the best way to set a boundary with my writing is to use a schedule and stick to it.

     Scheduling writing time is important for a few reasons.

It makes it feel more important.

     Like a doctor’s appointment, don’t schedule something during your writing time. This is set aside for work. Make sure to talk to others like it is an appointment also. If someone asks you to do something during your writing block of 10:00-12:00, simply say, “Sorry, I have an appointment from 10:00-12:00, but I can meet you before or after that.”

It helps you focus on your writing.

     This way your life isn’t taking over your writing. Sometimes the guilt factor sets in when we are in charge of our own schedule. We feel bad for not spending time with our kids, significant other, work, other talents, etc. But the writing needs to be done. If we have a set timeframe on when to write, we know that we will get done eventually and we can take care of our other obligations when the time comes. The guilt basically melts away.

It helps you turn it off.

     This way your writing isn’t taking over your life. Do you ever get into the guts of a scene and not want to stop? I hate to crush a creative moment when my time frame is coming to a close, when everything feels right and I’m in the groove. But typically this groove happens when everything is going right. The scene is working, the tension is amazing, it all is flowing. I suggest that stopping in the middle of a scene like this is the best thing to keep that momentum going the next day. It gives you something to look forward to tomorrow. 

     In brackets, write what you’re imagining will come next in brief summary, so you don’t forget, and turn off the computer or typewriter or scribbling pen. You can continue to think about it during your pockets of time, since brainwork is important work, but focusing on the rest of your life is also important. Believe me, your family or day job will thank you. This may be the hardest part for most of us, but with practice you will see the benefits.

      Now that you've got some tips under your belt go ahead an put them into practice. Of course, these are just suggestions. You know yourself best and if your system is working--keep going! Good luck with managing your writing time. I know I'm still working on balancing creative writing versus non-fiction, but it's something that will come with time and practice. 

     What are some basic tools you use when you are managing your time? Leave a comment below!